We figured with the kinds of questions we were asking, someone was bound to want to help us. I mean, after all, it was Ramadan for Christ's sake...

From the chat room..

You are in Arab Chat:2(discussing issues in the Arab community)T

Logging martinfelcher (hwrd1.md.home.comcast.eatme.net 666.123.xyz.abc) into the chat system... You are in Arab Chat:2 (discussing issues concerning the Arab community) palestinejeruselem left the room cicabell2000 left the room angelomenendez joined the room martinfelcher: Hey firaz_66 joined the room martinfelcher: Hey martinfelcher: What's going on in here? hajarbixter joined the room martinfelcher: Hello? martinfelcher: Why isn't anyone talking? martinfelcher: Are you all communicating through hidden maps in porno sites? jessabell2929 joined the room martinfelcher: Somebody fucking answer me god dammit!! martinfelcher: I need some help! hajarbixter: it sounds like it i_miss_u_2_much joined the room martinfelcher: Hey Haji! martinfelcher: What's going on? martinfelcher: I need some help. hajarbixter: sup goodboy-13 left the room martinfelcher: Do you know how to fly a plane? hajarbixter: yes rakan_vip joined the room martinfelcher: Cool. I can use you. martinfelcher: Where are you right now? hajarbixter: the US martinfelcher: Yeah. Where in the US? I_miss_u_2_much left the room hajarbixter: Cali beautiful_greeneye joined the room martinfelcher: Ok. Listen. martinfelcher: Try to use more than three words per sentence. martinfelcher: It will help us communicate better. hajarbixter: aha martinfelcher: Rrrright. Ok. martinfelcher: hang on a second there, Punjab. I'm going to IM you. beautiful_greeneye left the room

Back to IM...

martinfelcher: Hey man.
martinfelcher: Hello?
martinfelcher: Hey Rawa, are you still there?
martinfelcher: Hurry up!
martinfelcher: What the fuck do all of these controls do?
martinfelcher: None of this was in the flight-sim game I used to learn this shit.
martinfelcher: Hello?
martinfelcher: Are you going to help me or not!!??
hajarbixter: -no.
hajarbixter: sorry for you
martinfelcher: You cock sucker!
martinfelcher: Why the hell did you say you would then?
martinfelcher: I don't have much fuel left, you fucking prick!!

Back to the chat room..

You are in Arab Chat:2(discussing issues in the Arab community)T

Logging martinfelcher (hwrd1.md.home.comcast.eatme.net 666.123.xyz.abc) into the chat system... You are in Arab Chat:2 (discussing issues concerning the Arab community) nono666 left the room lydiahope joined the room rockin_the_U_S_A joined the room martinfelcher: Hello? martinfelcher: Is anyone there? martinfelcher: Look. I'm in big fucking trouble. Can one of you help me? jangles_KY joined the room martinfelcher: Somebody fucking answer me god dammit!! martinfelcher: I need some help! catawba_county_hitman: you need somebody killed? martinfelcher: Well.. Yeah. Sort of. martinfelcher: Can you help? martinfelcher: I'll IM you. Hang on. ***defnitlyconfused is being ignored by one voice chatter. rockin_the_U_S_A: lol moysoyahh2000 joined the room

Back to IM...

martinfelcher: hey
martinfelcher: Are you there?
catawaba_county_hitman: yes
martinfelcher: jesus Christ.
martinfelcher: Finally
martinfelcher: I caouldn' ewoi
martinfelcher: I couldn't get anyone to help me..
martinfelcher: Sorry, I hit some turbulence there for a minute.
martinfelcher: Hey.
martinfelcher: Are you there!!?? Don't leave!!
catawaba_county_hitman: ok
martinfelcher: Ok. Look. I need help and I don't have much fuel left, ok?
martinfelcher: So we need to speed this up a little bit.
catawaba_county_hitman: what
martinfelcher: What? What do you mean 'what?'
martinfelcher: Flying this plane, man! THE PLANE!
martinfelcher: HOW THE FUCK DO I DO IT ?!?
martinfelcher: What are all of these knobs and buttons all over the place?!
catawaba_county_hitman: not my department dude
martinfelcher: What?
martinfelcher: Are you Arabic?
martinfelcher: Where the fuck is Catawba County in Saudi Arabia anyway?
martinfelcher: God dammit. I should have known!!
catawaba_county_hitman: no
catawaba_county_hitman: but dumbass i can find you too if i want
martinfelcher: You fucking asshole!! I'm going to run out of fuel and hit the fucking ground!!
martinfelcher: You piece of shit.
martinfelcher: It's probably too late now!
martinfelcher: Give me your address!
martinfelcher: I'm going to fly this thing right down your fucking chimney!!
martinfelcher: ANSWER ME GOD DAMN YOU!!

Back to the chat room....

You are in Arab Chat:2(discussing issues in the Arab community)T

martinfelcher: Look. sabir_el_ars joined the room rawdan2929: ******** osammahjarrah left the room rockin_the_U_S_A: yo man martinfelcher: I need some help, and I need it quickly. brainsnbeauty24 joined the room martinfelcher: I'm in big fucking trouble here rawdan2929: snoop dogg martinfelcher: I don't have much time left habbeega_in_jedah left the room lookbutdonttouch_f2001 joined the room catawba_county_hitman: shut up martin martinfelcher: Do any of you mother fuckers know how to fly a plane? catawba_county_hitman: you stupid! martinfelcher: Shut up, you idiot. Someone else. *** khahaus is being ignored by two voice chatters. brainsnbeauty24: hey rock jihad_83 left the room catawba_county_hitman: im the hit man around here rockin_the_U_S_A: hey girl martinfelcher: Fuck you catawba_county hitman, you prick bastard martinfelcher: You call yourselves terrorists? brainsnbeauty24: yes martin i know how to fly a plane now where do you live? brainsnbeauty24: lol lookbutdonttouch_f2001 left the room rockin_the_U_S_A: lol martinfelcher: You guys aren't terrorists. nananb3_nanoon: hi people martinfelcher: You're all a bunch of pussies! *** khahaus is being ignored by two voice chatters. martinfelcher: I'm going to the motherfucking Northern Ireland room. martinfelcher: Those guys will help me. martinfelcher: You all suck sana_karamna joined the room Angerlheart3939 joined the room brainsnbeauty24: we will miss you martin martinfelcher: Yeah. blow me. rockin_the_U_S_A: lol xxxcamforu joined the room martinfelcher: Oh yeah. Happy Ramadan, you assholes. martinfelcher: I almost forgot khalouse: no way! khalouse: lol martinfelcher left the room

Enter Mike Williams, Special Agent for the F.B.I.

You are in Arab Chat:2(discussing issues in the Arab community)T

Logging mikewilliams27 (hwrd1.md.home.comcast.eatme.net 666.123.xyz.abc) into the chat system... You are in Arab Chat:2 (discussing issues concerning the Arab community) mikewilliams27: Good morning. rockin_the_U_S_A: american nananb3_nanoon: oh thx nananb3_nanoon: i'm male from palestine and livin palestine also radwan2001 left the room theanylist joined the room rockin_the_U_S_A: yes mikewilliams27: I am tracking a user names Martin Felcher. mikewilliams27: Has he been in this room recently? brainsnbeauty24: what message rock? rockin_the_U_S_A: let me show you khalous left the room brainsnbeauty24: yes he was morocobest left the room mikewilliams27: How long ago? brainsnbeauty24: about 5 minutes ago nananb3_nanoon: brain where from brainsnbeauty24: usa mikewillaims27: Did he say where he was going? nananb3_nanoon: nice to meet you friend kat956d joined the room mikewilliams27: One moment, brains. I will contact you directly. emad_mayan joined the room branisnbeauty24: likewise nanan safranprincess joined the room

Back to IM...

mikewilliams27: hello?
mikewilliams27: Did he say what room he was going to next?
mikewilliams27: This is very important.
mikewilliams27: I am a special agent with the FBI
mikewilliams27: If he was on his way to the Northern Irish chat room, we may all be in very grave danger.
Brainsnbeauty24: Well that's where he said he was going to.
mikewilliams27: That's what I was afraid of.
mikewilliams27: Do you have any idea what this means?
Brainsnbeauty24: no what
mikewilliams27: I can't tell you, but trust me. It is serious.
mikewilliams27: Where are you right now?
Brainsnbeauty24: at home why
mikewilliams27: No. I mean, what state are you in?
mikewilliams27: I'm in Washington DC, in case you didn't know.
mikewilliams27: Our headquarters is there.
Brainsnbeauty24: im in arizona
mikewilliams27: Drat! I was afraid of that.
mikewilliams27: How old are you?
Brainsnbeauty24: 19 how old are you
Brainsnbeauty24: are you really an agent for the fbi?
mikewilliams27: I'm 47. Isn't that what I said?
mikewilliams27: Listen. Since Felcher was headed to that Northern Ireland room, we both might not have long to live.
Brainsnbeauty24: what! Why
mikewilliams27: Felcher is a terrorist.
mikewilliams27: Did he mention anything about being near a plane?
Brainsnbeauty24: he kept asking people to help him fly one
Brainsnbeauty24: he made it seem like he was in one
mikewilliams27: Curses!!
mikewilliams27: Maam'. I'm afraid that we are both about to die.
Brainsnbeauty24: that's not funny.
mikewilliams27: I'm sorry, but I just thought you should know.
Brainsnbeauty24: Your freaking me out with that
mikewilliams27: Listen.
mikewilliams27: I'm 47 years old, and..
mikewilliams27: well…
Brainsnbeauty24: what
mikewilliams27: Well, since we're both probably going to die soon…
mikewilliams27: I was wondering…
Brainsnbeauty24: what
mikewilliams27: Well, you see. I've never been with a woman before.
mikewilliams27: You see. I still live at home with my mother.
mikewilliams27: I have over 27 cats and women just don't seem to he attracted to me.
mikewilliams27: I thought that when I got this job that the woman would really find me attractive
mikewilliams27: But they just don't.
Brainsnbeauty24: this is crazy
mikewilliams27: This whole, mixed up world we live in is crazy, Brains.
mikewilliams27: Too bad it's all about to end.
Brainsnbeauty24: your scaring me with all of that so just quit it
mikewilliams27: I'm sorry, my dear.
mikewilliams27: I'm just being honest.
mikewilliams27: So look. Let's get to it.
Brainsnbeauty24: get to what
mikewilliams27: To the sex. What do you mean, 'get to what?'
Brainsnbeauty24: I don't think so
mikewilliams27: I just told you. We're both about to die!
mikewilliams27: Felcher is probably got you in his sites right now!!
mikewilliams27: I'm almost 50 years old, and I've never been with a woman before.
mikewilliams27: I know it will only be cyber sex, I can live with that
mikewilliams27: We've got a lot of ground to cover between now and the time Felcher slams that plane full of nuclea…
mikewilliams27: Whoops.
mikewilliams27: Forget I said that.
Brainsnbeauty24: you must think im really stupid
mikewilliams27: Yeah, but what does that matter now?
mikewilliams27: You'll be a permanent shadow on the asphalt in about 30 minutes.
mikewilliams27: So let's get to the sex!
mikewilliams27: Ok, I've never done any of this, but I have a lot of fantasies that I want to try out before we're both incinerated, ok?
mikewilliams27: Do you know what a Donkey Punch is?
Brainsnbeauty24: no. I gotta go. Your not really from the fbi
mikewilliams27: No, wait! Please don't go!
mikewilliams27: I'll take is slow. Ok?
Brainsnbeauty24: no I don't think so I have to get ready for work
mikewilliams27: Your work will be vaporized in less than 1 hour.
mikewilliams27: Have you ever heard the term, "Dirty Sanchez"?
Brainsnbeauty24: no
mikewilliams27: How about snowballing? Do you know what that is?
mikewilliams27: What about a 'Hot lunch"?
mikewilliams27: You like hot lunches?
Brainsnbeauty24: bye
mikewilliams27: Will you pee on me?
mikewilliams27: I mean, virtually, of course.
mikewilliams27: Sort of like cyber peeing?
mikewilliams27: Can I call you so you can pee into the phone?
mikewilliams27: I'll hold it up to my face while you do it…
mikewilliams27: Just pee on the receiver and I'll pour a glass of warm water over my head.
mikewilliams27: Hello?
Brainsnbeauty24: <User Brainsnbeauty19 has logged out>

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