I'm scared of clowns. I always have been. I don't understand it, but when someone paints themselves up to try and appear funny, it's really frightening to me. Maybe this is why, when people paint themselves up to try to actually look frightening, I get a huge laugh out of it. There's nothing funnier (or more pathetic) than a perpetually depressed, pseudo-suicidal high-school kid from the suburbs, who's doing his best to try and look tough. Either tough or dead. I'm not really sure what he's going for.

Maybe he watched the Matrix too many times. Maybe he's pissed off because he didn't have as rough of a childhood as he would have liked. I mean, it's pretty hard to act like a bad-ass when your mom drops you off at the mall every Friday night. Walking around the mall, reenacting a scene from Dawn of the Dead doesn't really help either, but I've heard that Dracula guy was pretty tough.

One thing that's common among all of them is that, if you ask them how they're doing, they'll tell you that they're thinking of killing themselves. Let's face it. Life is tough in suburbia, and who wouldn't want to end it all, right there in front of Orange Julius? I guess that explains the makeup, but I think they're putting the cart before the horse. I wonder if any of them know about embalming fluid.

Anyway, call us humanitarians, but we feel the need to help. Whenever we see a frown on one of their pasty little white faces, we head straight for the one topic we know that will cheer them up. Not sports. Not religion. Not politics. We ask them if they know anything about Voodoo. It's a good way to break the ice.

Evil_Sarah_Bitch is one of us here at Fugly.

The innocent victim in all of this is godisdeadtome

HERE's what happened