TWO WEEKS? Two stinking weeks for people to win all the C.R.A.P.™ we posted last time and that's just way too long.

From now on, it will be much, MUCH easier to take C.R.A.P.™ from Fugly.com.

That's right. Our C.R.A.P.™ will slip right out of here with an ease and a fluidity never seen before. It will practically flow. Some times it will slide out of here without us even knowing it, and man, that might be kind of embarrassing but WE"RE WILLING TO TAKE THAT CHANCE!

On top of that, we'll be shooting C.R.A.P.™ out of here at a faster pace. Not just once a week, but as soon as someone takes our C.R.A.P.™, we'll load up and prepare for more.

More C.R.A.P.™. Easier C.R.A.P.™. A better, more solid C.R.A.P.™ program. What more could a person ask for?

Don't answer that.

Maybe I'm starting to show my age but, instead of giving away lawn jockeys and other useless junk, I'd like to do something that actually helps people.

A long time ago, when we first started Fugly.com, we used to have a link called simply, "CHARITY". It took you to a page where we listed all the places to which we felt it would be good to donate. We've since removed that page but about a month or so ago, we added another link called "GIVE A LITTLE", that links to Th eLance Armstrong Foundation at http://www.laf.org.

The lance Armstrong Foundation provides information and support to young cancer survivors and their families

Everyone has seen those yellow bracelets that people are wearing but not many people know what they're all about. They're actually just a little token that the Lance Armstrong Foundation gives away for your donation.

It's a real shame that lately they've become a fashion statement. They're so in vogue that you even saw John Kerry wearing one during the Presidential Debates.

It's an even bigger shame that some people are donating money, getting these things and then trying to sell them on places like eBay (pronounced: "Hell") for five, ten, even twenty dollars a piece.

We donated ten dollars a couple months ago and finally received ours. Instead of selling them, which we feel is pretty much the same thing as saying, "screw all those people with cancer", we thought it would be a good idea to give some of them away.

It takes a long time to get them if you order them through laf.org so here is what we're going to do. We're going to keep four of them. One for me, one for Harlan, and two more in case we think of something else to do with them.

Three of them will be this week's C.R.A.P.™, and the other three we will send to the first three people who can prove to us that they made a donation to the Lance Armstrong Foundation.

There's a catch. You can't have made your donation before today. We know that sounds shitty, but if you already made a donation and are waiting for your wristbands to come in the mail, you're a lot closer to getting them than some one who just donated today or in the days to come.

Go to http://www.laf.org and give a little. Then, send us your confirmation email and the address to where you'd like us to send your wristband and we'll send it to you asap.

We're not making any money with this. As a matter of fact, it cost us ten bucks to get the ones we have and it's going to cost us about five dollars a piece to ship them out but it's for a good cause.

That's the reason we're doing this. Because it's for a good cause. That, and because I love to smoke. I smoke like a pack and a half a day and if I ever get cancer I'm going to need something like the Lance Armstrong Foundation so I want to make sure it sticks around.

I drink a lot too so if anyone out there knows of any charitable organization where they send you a yellow band that fits around your liver, I'm all over it.

So, there you go. Three people who donate get a wristband. Three other lucky people who click on the Completely Random Amazing Prize links of the day get one too and we keep the last four.

If you don't know how our Completely Random Amazing Prize contest works, just take a look at the Completely Random Amazing Prize - Frequently Asked Questions page to find out.

Good luck!