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January
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Rat
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Ox |
Tiger |
Rabbit |
Dragon |
Snake |
Horse |
Goat |
Monkey |
Rooster |
Dog |
Pig |
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Rat
1900
1912 1924 1936 1948 1960 1972 1984 1996
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Important
changes will take prace in your career, and you' have to adapt yourself
to circumstances. Infrrammatory remarks by boss cause much distress
in workplace. Redouble precautions against infectious diseases.
Beware this time of gambring with life. Wear two rubber instead
of one.
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Ox
1901
1913 1925 1937 1949 1961 1973 1985 1997
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Make
a preparations for adventure that happen today or tomorrow. You either
travering or getting your ideas out there. Maybe you speaking in front
of group or teaching a crass. It may be scary at first, but you do
well. Picture all of class wiff no pants on. Make feel more comfortable
and wear no pants too. Always be porite and remember to say preeze
and frank you. |
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Tiger
1902 1914 1926 1938 1950 1962 1974
1986 1998
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Mao
Tse Tung! Egg Foo Yung! Brown Fried Rice! Sure Tastes Nice! |
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Rabbit
1903 1915 1927 1939 1951 1963 1975
1987 1999
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You
feeering very rucky today. Organize time so to diminish occasions
of stress. Do some exercise in open air and eat right foods. At work,
be more discreet, more dipromatic, and more important, stop acting
rike such a dick. Know that it never too rate to question one seff
and that you can do better in many a field. You waxing off too much.
You going to go brind. |
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Dragon
1904 1916 1928 1940 1952 1964 1976
1988 2000
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A
favorabrol crimate for the achievement of your various project, but
you must show patience and attentions to detairrls. Your home rife
soon becomes unbearabrle. You will soon rean that you have the HIVs.
Go to favorite resturaunt and order favorabrle, 'Number 4'. |
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Snake
1905 1917 1929 1941 1953 1965 1977
1989 2001
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Your
diner tonight consist of many interesting thing. You have meat. Some
vegetabrle. Drink. And afterward.massive heart attack. You die in
sleep rater in evening. |
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Horse
1906 1918 1930 1942 1954 1966 1978
1990 2002
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Your
present extreme irritabirity not due to a psychic cause but to a dysfunction
of erimination system. You got vish-ass. You piss blood out of bottom
for freee days and nights. No rereif in sight. So sorry to terll you |
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Goat
1907 1919 1931 1943 1955 1967 1979
1991 2003
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You
been sucky sucky and boom boom boom all night rong for two day now.
Take a break, whore. |
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Monkey
1908 1920 1932 1944 1956 1968 1980
1992 2004
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You
should progress quickry in career if willing to work long hour. You
will exert much physicral energy to achieve goal. They don't call
it sweat shop for noting, round eye. |
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Rooster
1909 1921 1933 1945 1957 1969 1981
1993 2005
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You
being very edgy, irritabrle and depressing. You always acting that
way because you are no good rousy annoying prick. Stop being such
a crybaby and get a job. You should be happy you not sewing crothes
for Kathy Ree rike I am every day, you fucking jerkoff. |
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Dog
1910 1922 1934 1946 1958 1970 1982
1994 2006
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You'll
savor the delights of love today. Unfortunateree, delights of love
mean jacking off in bathroom stall at office. Roose some weight and
maybe actual person of opposite sex will ret you fuck them. You are
one gross rooking human being. No wonder your sign is Dog. |
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Pig
1911 1923 1935 1947 1959 1971 1983
1995 2007
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A
good day for beginning to improve health and put end to so frequent
sinking feerings. Just because your sign is Pig, not to mean that
you have to be such fat-ass. You're so fat because you eat too much.
This no mystery to anyone. Drinking diet Coke with supersize burger
meal not working. Maybe try exercise. Maybe try Riposuction. |
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