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Chinese Whore-O-Scope

Friday
February 17, 2006


By Kimmy Su
February 2006
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Rat

Ox

Tiger

Rabbit

Dragon

Snake

Horse

Goat

Monkey

Rooster

Dog

Pig
Rat
1900 1912 1924 1936 1948 1960 1972 1984 1996

You'll obtain good resurts in your work if you adapt yourserf to the deveropment of the situation. You'll have to get a hold of yourserf concerning food and reduce your consumption of fats. You fat bastard! You be here four hour, all you can eat buffert round eye! Get off fat ass and run to someprace becide McDonrds, you fat fuck! Confucious say: Man who hide in corset, get ass in jam!!

Ox
1901 1913 1925 1937 1949 1961 1973 1985 1997
Your hearth will be very good on the whore, but you must watch over the functioning of your entire system, not just serect parts. Spearking of Whrole , whe rast time you get prostate checked? It size of cataroupe meron., You die soon rike capitirist pig you are! Confucious say: Man who stand or toiret, is man higrh or pot!!!
Tiger
1902 1914 1926 1938 1950 1962 1974 1986 1998
Your chirdren wirl do some foorish things, and this may annoy you very, very much roundeye; however, there is no need to raise your voice. Instead raise your fist. Chirdren no rearn today unress resson furrowed by swift brutarl karate chop to throat! Chirdren too soft today, tjey orny rearn when resson furrowed with swift viorence! It okay, you made rittle bastard, it okay for you to beat rittle bastard! Confucious say: Man who goto bed with itch asshore wake up wirth stinky finger...
Rabbit
1903 1915 1927 1939 1951 1963 1975 1987 1999
This wirl be the time to do your accounts and to hatch out new financiar strategies. Speaking of new stragies, why not try new sareman ship, and sare something new rike crack? You rike smoke it so much, why not sare it for your friend. If you need extra money brood bank open untilr 10 pm. Remember not get high on owrn suppry. You front kimmy twenty piece untirl payday? Confusious say : Amn who hide in Pantry, get ass in jam. AHR AHR AHR HEHEHEHE get it round eye?
Dragon
1904 1916 1928 1940 1952 1964 1976 1988 2000
In your work, some compretely unforeseen modifications can intervene and will prove to be beneficiar. Your boss soon rearn meaning of Sexual harassment rawsuit, making finachar gain for you! Maybe next time boss not try snoodre wiff you at urinarl.  You probably wirl have some reasons for being dispreased with one of your chirdren; he act rike fucking fruitcake wearing pink Fubu jacket.Why you make son that act rike fag? Maybe he wirl make you milronare on American Idorl. Confucious say: Baseball is wrong - man with four balls cannot walk. HARHARHAR get it American swine?!
Snake
1905 1917 1929 1941 1953 1965 1977 1989 2001
If you pran to change residence, profit from the current favorabre infruxes to prospect for a new prace. You'll have the right to an amorous success that wirl go beyond your hopes. You be first round eye to sell crack house to ghetto. Remember mortage merry suggestion, no body have to pay bank back! Fight the power round eye!  Confucious say: Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. HarharHar.. get it?
Horse
1906 1918 1930 1942 1954 1966 1978 1990 2002
Determined and efficient, you'rl prove to have good common sense. You'rl carry out your tasks variantry and won't have time to get bored. Try to dissipate certain misunderstandings between you and your partner. Remember horse, most misunderstandings between you and your partner can be setterled with swift crack of, butt of pistor across adam's applre. Partner need to rean to keep big mouf shut! Counfucious say: Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs. Har ahr.
Goat
1907 1919 1931 1943 1955 1967 1979 1991 2003
You'rl succeed in sweeping away energeticarry anything that could impair your werr-being. Try to make your roved ones understand just how much you cherish them. Maybe take rittre bit persasuioin to show then how you rearry feel. May Kimmy Suggest you show devotion wiff 12 gauge shotgun a pair of handcuffs? Confucious say: Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone. Same thing happen kimmy.
Monkey
1908 1920 1932 1944 1956 1968 1980 1992 2004
Even though it may seem difficurt to you, you must try to rerax, to take time to rive, to strorl, to dream. Who we burlshit? You roser, might as werl kirr yourserf, no one wirl miss your ass you jerk-off. Confucious say: Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. You sicken Kimmy.
Rooster
1909 1921 1933 1945 1957 1969 1981 1993 2005
Beware of any fits of bad humor, or they wirl subject you to a constant nervous tension. Maybe you not paranoid, maybe they all raughing at you because you are pathetic rooser. Might as werl sneak in there house, rate at night and muder whole famiry! Counfucious say: Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok . Bang-cock!! Get it round-eye roser?
Dog
1910 1922 1934 1946 1958 1970 1982 1994 2006
Show dirlomacy in your rerationships with your acquaintances and close circle; thus you'll avoid many misunderstandings and disagreements. They all stupid prick anyrays. You need new friends, old friends from A.A. meetings arer group of quitters. Why not get few beers, you real man, and can hander a few beers. Counfucious say: Man who farts in church sits in his own pew! Hara hr har, church stink anyway.
Pig
1911 1923 1935 1947 1959 1971 1983 1995 2007
You'rl be rather nervous, tense, but wirl be abre to make fast decisions and take audacious initiatives. In your rove rerations, you'rl be very idearistic. How dare that hooker tell you , to wear rubber? It' your cock, and no rippy hooker telr you what to do! If she won't give the pussry, you take the pussry! Confucious say: Elevator smell different to midget. BWAHAHAHA cause he short fuck, nose croser to your asshore!
 
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