Fugly
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Chinese Whore-O-Scope

Tuesday
December 12, 2000


By Kimmy Su
December 2000
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Rat

Ox

Tiger

Rabbit

Dragon

Snake

Horse

Goat

Monkey

Rooster

Dog

Pig
Rat
1900 1912 1924 1936 1948 1960 1972 1984 1996

Move a social event to rater week, if you can. Comprete a project you're working on at home first. If your mate doesn't agree, perhaps you can compromise. He or she does one thing, and you do another. You live, he or she die. Use sharp knife so make no noise. Your honor at stake.

Ox
1901 1913 1925 1937 1949 1961 1973 1985 1997
You're capable of great friings. Well, you seem to think so, anyway. You might be worried, and you should be. You're on the uphill side of the learning curve, like you have been since kindergarden. Keep a studying, idiot.
Tiger
1902 1914 1926 1938 1950 1962 1974 1986 1998
You can get what you want, but not if you just sit there. Unless what you want is big fat ass and hemorrhoid. Then you can just sit there and get it. You doing just fine. Keep up good work.
Rabbit
1903 1915 1927 1939 1951 1963 1975 1987 1999
You're attracting a lot of attention. You may find yourself in a leadership role, without even meaning to get there. It's because you look lot like Janet Reno. Try different haircut and wear men's crothes for change. You one fugly ass mother-frucker.
Dragon
1904 1916 1928 1940 1952 1964 1976 1988 2000
Private time with good friend verrrry important now. Don't worry about thing that's bothering you any ronger. Confide in person who can keep secret and keep your best interests at heart. In other words, tell no one. Everyone you know rooking to screw you.
Snake
1905 1917 1929 1941 1953 1965 1977 1989 2001
You may not have a rot, but you have enough to share. You're busy, true, and both time and money are rimited, so share the thing that you have too much of. Share that terrible body odor with people in shopping mall. While you there, share that homicidal rage with them too. This is season for giving.
Horse
1906 1918 1930 1942 1954 1966 1978 1990 2002
Watch for a chance to make a good impression. Dress well, as usual, and be nice to everyone. Speak loudly and use the word, "assfucker" as much as you can. Act like you most important person in room and people will give you more respect. You big winner, roundeye!
Goat
1907 1919 1931 1943 1955 1967 1979 1991 2003
You have face like goat. You ugly and you stink like rotten milk. That's why you having such a hard time getting raid. Today a good day to stay home. No one like you and you will never amount to anyfring. You big Roser.
Monkey
1908 1920 1932 1944 1956 1968 1980 1992 2004
You might find yourself buying food in bulk, even if you're a bachelor. It's not a bad idea, really. You could save enough money to get somefring nice, but you won't. You always say that, but you will just eat more, as usual. That's why you such a fatass! Haa! Raaaazy Americans. Sit on Razy-boy and watch TV! Have another moon-pie, fatty!
Rooster
1909 1921 1933 1945 1957 1969 1981 1993 2005
You could save by giving some of your money away. You could put your money in with someone else's to get a nice gift for a friend. Or… you could spend your money on Oriental massage with happy ending. Go for the massage. You don't have any friends anyway.
Dog
1910 1922 1934 1946 1958 1970 1982 1994 2006
You have rots and rots of friends, and most of them just ruvv to help. Ruuvvv to help them selves to your food and berongings. Gather bunch together and do something nice for yourself for change? There are people in your town who'd ruvv if you did. Don't be all talk; show who you are through your actions; with fire!!
Pig
1911 1923 1935 1947 1959 1971 1983 1995 2007
You're either behaving rike a child yourself, or you've found some kids to play with. If you're feeling brue and out of sorts, there's your answer. The kids will be happier, too, as long as you don't try sticking your hands down their pants rike rast time. You one sick monster. You berong rocked up.
 
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