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January
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May
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Your Fugly WhoreOscope for:
Thursday
June 1, 2000
By Fugly.com
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June
2000
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Aquarius
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Aries |
Cancer |
Capricorn |
Gemini |
Leo |
Libra |
Pisces |
Sagittarius |
Scorpio |
Taurus |
Virgo |
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Gemini
May.
21 - Jun. 21
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Are
you really suprised at what you saw? Look at how much weight you've
gained since the holidays. Jesus Christ. You're as fat as a house.
Nobody would fuck you now even if you paid them. |
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Cancer
June
21 - July 22
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Deal
with any unfavorable situations before they get out of hand. Compromise
if you wish to keep your present relationship. Your mate may be uncertain
about his or her feelings toward you. He or she is right to think
this, and will soon learn the truth about your sexuality. Come on,
anyone could have seen it coming. Look at the way you dress for Christ's
sake. It's so fucking obvious. |
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Leo
July
22 - Aug. 23
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You
can make financial gains if you are prepared to take a risk. This
is a great day to get out and enjoy an entertaining evening with friends
or lovers. What have you got to lose at this point? At least you won't
have to buy condoms anymore. You're looking a bit thin. |
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Virgo
Aug.
23 - Sept. 22
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You'll
probably spend some time thinking about your life and how to get out
of the rut you've been feeling lately. It will do you no good. You're
better off drinking to dull the pain. You're friends all think you're
contemplating suicide. |
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Libra
Sept.
22 - Oct. 22
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Oh
man, are you in trouble. Everyone knows exactly what you did. Boy,
am I glad I'm not you. |
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Scorpio
Oct.
22 - Nov. 22
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Have
you been feeling kinda yucky lately? Well have ya?! Punk! Well, you
may need to come out of your shell and get some things off your chest.
You and someone close may not be seeing eye to eye. So see if you
can work things out, and if not, poke out both of their eyes. |
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Sagittarius
Nov.
22 - Dec. 21
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You
may be feeling like keeping to yourself, but it's only a symptom of
your progressing schitzophrenia. That's okay - you've got a lot of
work to do. Get stuff done, and hang with friends when you're more
in the mood. Quit talking to yourself. |
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Capricorn
Dec.
21 - Jan. 20
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That
ugly sore near your genitals will develop into somethign really nasty.
Don't pick at it, or it will get worse. Quit playing with yourself
and wash your hands more often. Weirdo. |
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Aquarius
Jan.
20 - Feb. 19
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You'll
be tempted to travel regardless of cost or distance. Try to mix business
with pleasure if you are going to make the journey. Take this opportunity
to cheat on your husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend. If you're not
currently involved with anyone, just have careless, unprotected sex
with a total stranger while you're away. You only live once! Your
breath smells terrible. Do something about it. |
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Pisces
Feb.
19 - March 20
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You
may have to run around like a mad-man right now even though you may
wish you could have stayed at home under the covers. There's something
you should probably talk about with your family. Don't get into an
automobile today or you'll be killed. |
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Aries
March
20- April 19
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Arguments
will cause setbacks to your professional goals, but you don't really
give a fuck, do you?. Problems with health will prevail if you don't
eliminate the stress in your life. You must address the problems if
you want to turn things around. Those voices in your head will only
get louder unless you do what they say. Libra is plotting against
you. You'd better arm yourself. |
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Taurus
April
19 - May 20
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Getting
along with your sweetie could seem like it's the hardest thing to
do these days. That has to be one of the most annoying bitches you've
ever gone out with. When are you going to get rid of that annoying
cunt? |
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